Oh boy, Oyibo!

My rap, with apologies to Dr. Seuss

Oyibo (oye-yee-bo)

So you got off the plane, fresh as can be
then the heat smacks you down, and the hum-id-i-ty
You're flat on your back, covered with sweat,
Fresh fish you are and ready to fry
welcome to Neiga, so you now are our guy.
we can call you our boy,
Oyibo

Your shipment's come in, well the boat has arrived
it's in the queue, number 95!
There the container will sit, in the sun and rain,
that vintage wine, just turn to swill
But you're into the luck,
your neighbor's got cut, everything for sale
priced real low and ready to go
so you bought all his wine and think you're in heaven
Oyibo

"I'm coming" means when? You can't get a clue
"Any time from now" means never and when and with who?
Morning is noon and evening midnight
The clock rotates backward with no schedule in sight
Chill and relax, if it happens it will
there's no point in making too much of a blow
for you have now become our
Mr. Oyibo

To the market you go, to check out the show
buy a few things and show that you know.
A papaya or two will taste real sweet
"What! too much" you try to exclaim
you don't know the price, but it must be too high
you put up a fuss, pretend you're in pain
that'll take it down a bit, but not much gain
with that white face, it won't be too low
you're Oyibo

Settling in, thinking you're cool
hanging at Tricks, enjoying a drink
the girls around, sensing some cash
Too many Brits, eating their mash
Should I care really, if Chelsea has won?
Or that Ponting has just hit a ton?
The ferry goes by, crossing the creek
from Tarzan to Ikoyi, every day of the week.
tracing drops on the glass, watching it go
Oyibo

When you see a scowling frown
try to turn it round
Say "Good morning" and we're suddenly friends
Say "How are you" and we're friends to the end
Flashing a smile and shaking your hand,
aren't we all just people, including my own
Mr. Oyibo

The waters low, the power just cut
I jump up and head to the pool
float on my back, head turned to the sky
the Harmattan is in and it's all pretty brown
still better than that traffic in town.
Neighbors come out, start to jaw it around,
Talk about football, oh! that kind! not for me
I'm Oyibo

So how do you know,
when you've become part of the show?
It's easy to tell, look and you'll see,
sit in the back seat and when you feel free
joke with the driver and exercise your patience
God bless us all and get us home safe.
No wahala-O
Oyibo