Secrets

There seem to be a lot of people who think that the world around them is full of people who know stuff that they don't. If they could only find out those things, then life would be a breeze. That stuff they don't know is called "secrets". I have reached this conclusion based on number of internet sites that purport to let you in on the secrets that only they know, but now you, the average schlub, can know too. Once you know the secret you will be rich, beautiful, smart, sexy, and happy. Check out some of my favorites.

The greatest number of secrets involve diet. Rather than admit that the way to lose weight is to eat less, we spend an amazing amount of time looking (and paying) for secrets.

• just plain diet secrets
• foreign diet secrets
• celebrity diet secrets
• diet secrets they don't want you to know

Of course there must be secrets to making money since the people who have a lot of it don't seem to have to work for it like we do so there must be a secret. One secret to making money is of course to make money selling the secret.

• secrets seem to be best if there is a small number of them, like 10
• or they are being hidden from you
• a good secret involves little effort
• and is completely free

We all feel that we're getting ripped off when buying cars, so there must be secrets we don't know. The same goes for other purchases too.

• car buying secrets, the best are closely held
• home buying secrets, exposed
• airplane buying secrets
• carpet buying secrets
• camera buying secrets
• travel secrets
  

The list goes on... We love health secrets, especially if it's a drinking is good for us kind of secret.

• secrets of red wine
• health secrets for busy people
• the world's greatest health secrets
• of course celebrities have health secrets

Around the house, you may need some of these

• plumbing secrets
• cooking secrets
• parenting secrets
• the secrets of pro painters
• cleaning secrets

Well, you get the idea. I'll leave you with police secrets, sex secrets, medical secrets, government secrets, alien secrets, secrets of the ancients and the mind boggling colon secrets. Too bad people looking for secrets don't spend their time more productively, like learning about what's really going on instead of chasing bullshit. Maybe they just need the secret of life.

Small victories

Amongst the chaos and frustration of everyday life, I do have the occasional small victory. Something that I'm proud of, just for me, I don't expect or need for anyone else to notice. For example:

This laptop, a Dell B130, hasn't had a working battery for years. The bracket keys are missing too, which can be inconvenient. Turns out my brother has the same laptop with a good battery but it won't work on the AC adapter. This seemed to be some kind of opportunity to maybe have one completely whole working laptop. He brought over his laptop and we verified that both AC adapters were good, one battery good, one bad.

In summary: laptop A with bad battery and missing keys, laptop B with good battery, good keyboard and bad connection somewhere inside.

Today while grandson and grand nephews were whooping it up, I retreated to the garage to see what I could do. With the help of the Dell service info, I disassembled laptop B right down to removing the motherboard. Looking closely at where the barrel connector plugs into the board, I could see one connection that looked burnt. Maybe I'd be lucky. So I cleaned around that area and soldered it nice and shiny. Reassembling I worked backwards through the motherboard, speakers, antenna, modem, coin battery, screen, keyboard, trim pieces, disk, processor, heatsink, DVD player, and memory. All the little tiny connectors and screws and pieces that I had carefully laid out in a kind of zen calm.

No screws left over, or missing. All parts accounted for, well I did have to go back a couple steps because I had forgotten the coin battery. Plugged it in. By god, it worked. Booted right up, requested date and time. Keyboard and mouse worked, display clear, connected to my network.

That was my victory today, but it's not the end result that really matters, it's the calm of the moments leading up to it that I treasure. All those little bits had been dancing to my tune.

In the news this week

From the Nigeria news two items to ponder.

In the Lagos area, text messages have been flying similar to this:

“Tell your loved ones and anybody you know. Apple is now a poisonous fruit to eat. All the ones imported into the country currently are contaminated and have been killing people. The statistics is nation wide and increasing. This message is from NAFDAC. It is not a rumour”.

Just the sort of rumor that once started spreads like wildfire. In a country where the newspapers have very little credibility and the government less, there's no stopping it. In a recent incident regarding contaminated baby medicine the government first denied the problem and only later admitted many children had been sickened.

The second news item is just mind boggling. The government has been offering money and retraining to militants who turn in their weapons. This has brought in tons of rusted obsolete weapons and a few militants. As for the training, the first class of 298 has graduated. Quoting the government.

"The ex-militants received training in mechanics, music, football, computer applications, seafaring and drama."

I'm a bit concerned that this flood of trained thespians may overwhelm the drama industry, and are we sure these newly trained footballers will understand that it's actually a game? No shooting or kidnapping on the pitch please.

It's all a big strain on my incredulity circuits but they are holding for now. Makes me think about this phenomenon of a country with 21st century communications and no trusted sources of information. Sort of like where America is heading.

The turkeys next door

No, I don't mean the neighbors, I mean real live turkeys, wild ones. We've been invaded.

Last night was a wild one. As predicted two weeks ago, thank you very much, we got our annual september thunderstorm. My daughter came over with her new puppy (Hudson) so I was expecting things to be livelier than usual but this went beyond expectations. This pup, a golden retriever, is about as mellow as a puppy can be, seems to need a lot of sleep. Not too hip on the retrieving thing yet, but that will come. Just happy to run around for a while, then take a nap. Repeat as needed.

We put the puppy in the fenced side yard and he seemed to be doing OK. But after a while he seemed to be pretty uncomfortable. This is a city dog and while our house is not exactly in the deep woods we do have lots of critters around. The night was full of unfamiliar noises and Hudson was relieved to be let in so he could curl up in his bed.

Moments after coming in, a raccoon fight erupted in the yard. Lots of hissing as two of them went at it, chasing each other up and down the trees and over the fences. This stirred up the flock of turkeys, about 10, in the neighbors yard and they chimed in with their gobbling. As the fight died away, there was a flash of lightening and thunder followed. Hudson curled up more. Then came a burst of rain.

I must say I didn't sleep much, every thunder clap was followed by a group gobble. The lightning was like someone taking my picture all night. The bursts of rain provided a background hiss. Hudson slept like a baby.

This morning, the turkeys have gone to someone else's yard. But don't worry about them, they are well represented by the National Wild Turkey Federation (NWTF), although from their web site it's not clear if they are being protected or targeted. Maybe they can organize a hunt, Hudson and I can guide.

Apologies

This whole business with apologies is just a bunch of bull. These days the demands for apologies and the lame precrafted apologies that are delivered and the lamer pre(pre?)crafted acceptances are completely meaningless.

Some examples:

The British government wants the ex CEO of Rover to apologize for running the company into the ground, with government money, and he and his buddies taking huge compensation for doing it. (story). How about giving the money back? How about giving it to charity? Apology costs nothing, he keeps the money and moves on. Meanwhile the government spent 16 million pounds to investigate what happened. I'll tell you what happened, you got took, suckered, scammed. BTW, what's left of Rover is now in Chinese hands.

The U.S. Congress recently passed bills apologizing for slavery. I bet that makes everybody feel better. What does it do? How does this help anything? Actually if you read closer, the bills real purpose was to head off any move toward paying reparations. That means money spent, and we can't have that. Reparations would keep a lot of lawyers and do gooders busy for years. Somewhere in the Mormons genealogy databases in Utah I bet I could find enough proof so that I could get reparated too.

Apologizing to the Indians for their abuse has been a concept kicked around for a long time. In fact the Canadian government actually did. Not an overall apology but for a specific policy, that of sending Indian children to lousy schools. Does this help anyone? The kids are grown up are getting on with life, this apology is way wide of the mark.

Here's a classic, the Oakland airport apologized to the military after troops were not allowed to deplane during a two hour layover. Some soldiers were miffed because they had hoped to meet friends and relatives during the stop. This incident was spun as just another example of how California disrespects our fine military men and women. You can guess who did the spinning. So does Oakland feel shame over this problem and the world will be a better place? I doubt it, but somebody got to strut their ego.

In a recent flap, a Representative interrupted a Presidential speech by blurting out "You lie". He apologized to the President, our other president Rush Limbaugh blasted him for apologizing and now will have to apologize for blaming him for apologizing?

And speaking of my birthplace, Discovery channel has a new series coming out "Gang wars: Oakland". That sounds like fun. I wonder if the film crew went into the neighborhoods that that cops don't dare go into. Small problem with getting shot at. But even crooks love to be on TV. Should be a big hit, if we can love crab fishermen why not gang bangers?