The world is dark

This morning has been hazy bright and burning hot, haven't had rain in a few days and it's really broiling. Sitting at the computer here, while I was catching up on the news, the sky turned dark. Then lashing wind, some approaching thunder and after that the deluge. That cooled things off. An hour later, it's passed, the clouds are breaking up and it will be hot hot hot again, with an added dose of humidity.

For those of you keeping score at home, it's getting near time to head back to "the States" as we say, but first, our last chance for an African vacation. We will be heading out Friday for South Africa (SA) and Botswana to do the Safari thing. It's late fall in SA and might be chilly, but the rains there are ending so it's the beginning of prime animal watching season. I'll be off the air for a while, will check in as I can, in the meantime you can follow us on our itinerary. Most of this arranged through Go 2 Africa, highly recommended.

May 22 LOS - JNB - South African Airways, the best coach seats in the world as far as I my experience anyway. Stay in Joberg at Impangele bed and breakfast, an expat favorite. (map)
May 25 JNB - Livingston, Zambia (map), over night at the Zambezi Sun. Near Victoria Falls (map)
By road into Botswana, stay at Chobe game lodge for two nights. (map)
May 28 small plane to Chief's Island in the Okavango delta of Botswana
Stay two nights at Chief's camp in the Mombo concession of the Moremi Game reserve (map)
May 31 back to JNB
Stay at Hyatt Hotel in Rosebank, the Beverly Hills of J'berg. (map)
Jun 2 fly to Mala Mala, on the banks of the Sand River (map)
Stay three nights at Mala Mala main camp
Jun 5 back to JNB then CPT
Stay three nights Welgelegen guesthouse (map)
Stay one night in Summerwood guest house in Stellenbosch, SA's wine country (map)
June 9 fly to JNB then LOS
Phew!

Then mad scramble to pack up house, garage sale, clean up etc.
June 30 LOS to SFO
Six months latter shipped items may arrive

Just for fun, I've included links to maps for most of these places

Learning to love cricket

I've really have no choice, the IPL has taken over sports on TV, and with football (soccer to you) winding down there's not much choice. For a baseball fan, cricket should actually be very easy to understand. The basic idea is the same, someone throws a ball, the other guy tries to hit it.

Picture a baseball diamond, four bases with a pitchers mound in the center. Throw away first and third base, move the pitcher to second base, leave the batter where he is and there you have it. Cricket. There are a couple other modifications of course, but they are minor. First, get rid of the foul lines, the ball can be hit in any direction. This will then necessitate fielders standing to the side and even behind the batter. Make the field in an oval shape to accommodate this arrangement. And add another batter, so you have one at home plate and one at second base. When one runs the other does too, they go back and forth. Behind the batter, replace the umpire with three vertical sticks with two cute little spools balanced on top.

Now it's time for some proper terms. The batter is not, he's the batsman. The pitcher is the bowler. The area between the bases is termed the wicket. The sticks are the stumps. There are eleven players on each team.

The fielders are not allowed to wear gloves except for the chap who stands behind the batsman, termed the wicket keeper, who is allowed a pair of gloves that look like what soccer goalies wear. The two batsmen wear helmets with face shields, heavy pads on their legs and large gloves, picture an ice hockey goalkeeper. The cricket bat is wide and thick, almost flat on the front. There is an umpire dressed in white who generally wears a wide floppy hat.

The teams take turns with one batting and the other bowling and fielding, just like baseball. Play begins an inning (see, same thing) with the fielders strolling out onto the field and taking their positions. The two batsmen then take up positions at the bases. The bowler hands his hat to the umpire who is kind enough to hold it while he is undertaking the strenuous affair that is bowling. The bowler then takes the ball and wanders out into center field for a good long way. He turns and runs full speed towards the wicket, launching the ball as he passes the batsman nearest to him. He may throw the ball directly or bounce it in an attempt to hit the stumps and thus make the batsman change in status to "out". The batsman will protect the stumps and attempt to hit the ball in such a way that he and his partner can run to their opposite bases. There is no requirement to run, if the ball looks to be too easily fielded, both batsman will stay where they are. For each time the batsman do run to the other end, thus switching ends, one run is scored.

A batsman can be out if the stumps are hit by the bowler or by any fielder while a batsman is in between bases. These outs are termed being "bowled" or "run out" respectively. A batsman can also be out if a fielder can catch the ball on the fly, before it touches the ground. This is known as having been "caught". This is not very likely since the fielders have no gloves and when they were younger they never wanted to be fielders anyway so have never really mastered the art of catching. The glory is in the bowler and the batsman, the fielders are not really expected to do much. Even a simple fly ball is an adventure and comical dives and drops are the norm.

A ball hit outside the oval on the fly scores 6 points, a ball that bounces or rolls out scores 4 points.

After throwing six times, the bowler has exhausted himself and completed an "over". He can then retrieve his hat from the umpire and take a place standing in the field. Another fielder is now given the responsibility for bowling and is honored by having his hat carefully tended by the umpire. I should note that bowlers are not allowed to bend their elbow in the throwing, resulting in a highly comical motion. They are allowed however to rub the ball and polish it against their pants in a way that baseball fans would find highly questionable. There's plenty of time to do this between pitches while wandering out to get a good long run in before the throw.

Nine outs (also known as wickets) constitute an inning. At that point the teams switch roles, the fielders going to take their ease in the pavilion while two of their mates are batsman and the other team plays the field and provides the bowler.

Matches may be of differing lengths with varying numbers of innings and/or overs. The so called "test match" goes on seemingly forever, over several days, with each team getting two innings, each of which potentially takes longer than a day to complete. A lunch break and afternoon tea are required to keep the players strong enough to continue. The scores in such a match are astronomical, well into the hundreds, the play is extremely boring since there is little incentive to hit a ball that is not to the batsman's liking since it may be caught. So the process of batting becomes an endless defensive exercise of blocking the ball into the ground. Remember there is never a requirement to run, especially in this type of match where there is plenty of time for that later on.

Too add some "interest" to the sport, in recent times matches with a limited number of overs have been instituted. The above mentioned IPL plays what they call twenty twenty. Each team gets a single inning of twenty overs. So there is some incentive for the batsman to hit the ball in a way to score runs, not just to avoid being out. Based on a flip of the coin, one team bats first and scores as many runs as possible in the twenty overs. This is usually one hundred to two hundred runs. Then the second team takes their twenty overs and tries to score more runs than the first team did. This can be a bit exciting but there is an inevitability to it all, since there is little chance of the miracle comeback that makes most sport interesting right to the end. If the first team runs up a large total, then the second team can have no chance of overtaking them and winning.

There are other variations as well, all developed in an attempt to prevent catatonia in the fans. The players also make an effort to excite the fans. For even the most unimportant event on the field, they are required to shout and jump and hug each other. For example, if a ball is actually caught, then a whole team celebration is required.

Every sport is required to have at least one play that requires an official on the field to make a call based on a little understood and poorly defined rule. Think offsides in soccer, pass interference in football, or pretty much anything in basketball. Cricket has the dreaded "Leg before wicket" (LBW). The batsman's leg pads can make an effective blockade in front of the stumps, however it is not legal to use the leg for that purpose. The ball must be hit with the bat if it is on a path to contact the stumps, not be stopped by the batsman's leg pad. The key to this rule is whether the ball was on a path to hit the stumps or not. If the umpire rules that the ball would not have hit the stumps, then it doesn't matter if the batsman has blocked it with his pads.

This leaves the door open for endless speculation and argument, as every sport needs. On the field, the players are allowed one outburst, like "No way!" if they disagree with the call. Further arguing is considered "a breach of the spirit of the game" and is harshly dealt with. Barging (trash talk) is also not allowed. Fans and commentators however are allowed full rein.

Cricket yields an amazing array of statistics, much like baseball, I think because there is so much time between any activity on the field that minds begin to wander. Yes, there are even fantasy cricket leagues (IFL for example), probably more interesting than watching an actual game. And there are always the incredibly complicated rules to ponder.

How are the Giants doing again?

De bobe don quench

Huh? Some expressions take getting used to, in fact this is one of my favorites. Quench means broken irreparably, "don quench" would be past tense. "Bobe" is of course what we would refer to as a light bulb. In other words, the light bulb is out. As opposed to "moto don die" which means the motor has broken down but can probably be repaired. Or when something is "spoiled" it's not just a rotten piece of fruit, but can mean something broken as well, like "my tyre is spoiled". In a related vein, "should I off the washer?" means not to kill it, just to turn it off, like when I want to take a shower and the water pressure is low, then please "off the washer".

Some of my other favorites:

Chop is of course food, or the act of eating or consuming. A "chop bar" is a local restaurant, probably not where you would want to eat. Or used as a verb as in "He go chop all the money" referring to a corrupt official. Then "small chop" of course means snack. Oftentimes an invitation that's not for a complete meal will include this term.
If a store doesn't have something, then it's "finished".
Therefore a job cannot be finished, but it might be completed, or it will be completed "anytime from now".
If you don't understand someone, tell them "I can't hear you".
When someone walks away and says "I'm coming" it can be a bit confusing. It actually means that they will return at some time in the future, it might be in 5 minutes or "any time from now", meaning, well, anytime.
If you are required to wait for something, you might be told to "please exercise your patience". So I guess you will.
"On time" means early, as in "I finish my work so I go leave on time today"

Some other definitions

Expired - like my driver said to me the other day when I called him after lunch break, "Has my time expired?"
Very well - properly, correctly - as in "The pilot must calculate his fuel very well". Reported after a recent airplane crash.
Fairly used - A product that still has useful life remaining. As in a "fairly used okada"

The locals love acronyms and the longer the better.

FG - Federal Government
LG - Local Government, wherever that happens to be
NNPC - Nigerian National Petroleum Corporation
EFCC - Economic and Financial Crimes Commision
LAWMA - Lagos Waste Management Authority
NUPENG - National Union of Petroleum and Natural Gas Workers
PENGASSAN - Petroleum and Natural Gas Senior Staff Association of Nigeria

And a few more that defy classification.

Four-o-four (404) - slang for dog meat, comparing the speed of a dog to the previously popular Peugeot 404. Legs can be referred to as "tyres", "headlights" being the whole head with eyeballs.
One thousand and four (1004) - A large apartment complex built for government workers that was emptied out when the FG moved from Lagos to Abuja. Still empty today, with limited signs of any progress in the supposed refurbishment. As in - "It took me an hour to 1004, and I'm still stuck at the Law School". Named after the number of apartments.
Sentencing - Instant justice dispensed at police checkpoints. Ranges from a small dash to large fines or even assassination.
419 - fraud. For example, internet come ons or selling someone else's property, named after section number in criminal code.
Trafficator - automobile direction indicator, what we would call a blinker. Yet another reason for the traffic police to demand a bribe, recently reported at a going rate of N50,000.

Better study up, or you'll be easily spotted as "fresh fish". (Newcomer)

Airtime for your cell phone

The first in a series (maybe) of tips for living in West Africa.

How to get more airtime for your mobile phone

Most mobile phones are sold on the basis of purchasing airtime as you go. This comes in the form of scratch off cards that are sold around the country. If you are very lucky, you may have a company paid phone that is taken care of by the purchasing department, or whomever. But that system often screws up one way or another so most people also carry a pay as you go phone for backup. Follow the menus on your phone to see if you are getting low, if so, follow these instructions.

1. Turn your head in the direction of one of the many hawkers waving strings of phone cards. These can be found in between lanes of traffic, in parking lots, markets or pretty much everywhere. Oftentimes they sit under colorful umbrellas as in the picture. They will notice and come right over. Select the amount and the company your phone uses. The different companies use different denominations of cards, I generally buy an MTN N700 card. Before you know the available values for your company it is better to purchase in a static location as it can get a bit hectic figuring our what cards to buy while moving in traffic.
2. Cards are fixed price, the hawker has bought them from a wholesale dealer and is reselling them to you for a small profit each.
3. Note that the hawker pulls a pack of cards out of his pocket, selects one and sells it to you. It should be wrapped in plastic. The cards that are waved around have already been used and are for display purposes only.
4. Give the card and your phone to your driver. He will take off the plastic and toss it out the window, scratch off the printing over the card pin number, dial the phone company number and enter the pin, toss the used card out the window and return the phone to you. Do not attempt this yourself. You will be unable to get it right and also be insulting the driver with your lack of confidence in his capability.

Or, more simply, just have your driver do the whole thing. This can be very convenient if he is parking while you are shopping or having your nails done. When you come out, it's all taken care of and everyone's happy. Your driver may have been able to make a small profit on the transaction and you weren't bothered by the whole ordeal.

If a card seller approaches you when you don't need to purchase, just shake your head, or simply stare off into space until he gets the message. You will have practiced the stare when passing the beggars while leaving Park and Shop.

12169 MHz

When God created the universe, he knew that 12169 MHz frequency satellite TV signals would penetrate heavy rain better than any of the other channels. At least that's how it seems to soccer fans like myself. We've had heavy rain last night and now this afternoon again after a morning of sprinkles. Earlier the clouds had some definition and there were occasional breaks, I did get out for about a 45 minute walk without difficulty. Now the sky has gone flat gray, the horizon disappears over the gray lagoon and the rain will pelt for hours.

So what's there to do? Because of intelligent design the only TV channel working is SuperSport 3 which is football (soccer to you) pretty much 24 hours a day. Either showing it, or showing people talking about it. Just finished seeing a 10 year old match between Liverpool and Manchester United. That's back when Beckham was still playing well and Alex Ferguson was not yet knighted, and looking quite a bit younger too, weren't we all? Thrilling match that ended in a 2-2 draw. One of those played at full speed the whole way, none of this trotting around passing like it's a mid week training drill.

Tonight is Chelsea vs. Barcelona in the second leg of their UEFA league semi-final. Should be a corker after a 0-0 draw in the first leg. Not to worry though, it's on SuperSport 3 at 12169 MHz.

The computer village

Remember my posting from February regarding toxic electronics waste shipped to West Africa? Since then I'd wanted to visit Alaba and see it for myself. That turned out to be pretty impractical, but I did still want to visit the "computer village" in Ikeja. This is where anything and everything related to computers can be bought or sold.

I had mentioned this to Jesse (our driver) some time ago but didn't really think much more about it. Then Jesse asked one day if I still wanted to go to the computer village and if so he would be interested too since he needed a new keyboard for his system. I had recently, and foolishly, plugged the AC adapter for my computer speakers into the 220V outlet and fried it. These clever power strips that have outlets for all types of plugs make that a real easy thing to do. So I had something to look for too, no fun shopping without some prey in mind.

Yesterday morning at 07:00 we set off. Due to the ongoing petrol shortage, traffic was reported to be a mess, but I figured if not now, then when? About an hour later we'd made the 5 miles to the office and let my wife off for her daily grind. Back on the expressway, things were slow at every filling station with long queues along the road. Finally onto the third mainland bridge and things were moving right along. For those unwilling to wait for the controlled price (N65/litre) at the stations, guys with jerry cans along the road were reportly selling at N200/litre with no line.

Computer village is not really a separate town, simply a neighborhood that had grown up around this business. It previously had quite a bad reputation for crime and rip offs but has been cleaned up some time ago by the merchants hoping to attract more customers. There is lots to buy, new and used, whole systems or just parts. Sort of like a third world Akihabara.

But really, that was not meant to be a knock on Ikeja, I had an interesting visit and both Jesse and myself found exactly what we needed. Jesse knew just where we could find a secure parking place and we set off on foot down the narrow road. I had a hard time keeping up, what with looking over my shoulder constantly for cars and okada and pushcarts. Fortunately, at least by my judgement, we came across a LAWMA truck that was blocking most all the traffic as it made it's way along so we could proceed with less risk of being run over.

We came to the store pictured above, that's Jesse standing on the left, where he had bought things before and we went up stairs to look at what was available. Turns out Jesse also wanted a power supply for another one of his systems so while they were negotiating, I had a chance to talk to the owner. Quite a young guy, he bought bulk lots of imported used systems and components and resold them as is or integrated them into complete solutions for customers. He showed me a whole room full of 17 inch monitors that he thought he might be able to get US$25 each for, but I thought he should just get rid of them all, everyone wants LCD displays. He did have lots of those too. That pile of HP systems Jesse is standing next to apparently came from the Rolex corporation at least according to the asset tags that were still on the systems in storage, those on display had been cleaned up for sale. The owner said one might go for about N24,000, that's today about US$150, depending on disk and memory. ( think I got that right). I wonder what Rolex got for them from the surplus dealer?

Jesse bought two keyboards and a power supply, I got my AC adapter, listening to gdradio.net using it right now. We had arrived at the computer village at about 09:30, shopped for about an hour, leaving at 10:30. By 11:30 we were back in VI, made a couple stops including a N500 papaya alongside the road, they are really getting expensive, back home by 13:00 and felt like a successful outing.

Last night, rained like hell, lots of lightning, not much thunder. Gloomy all day today with periodic rain squalls off the lagoon .