Streets of San Francisco (No, not that one)

When I walk home from my office heading north along 2nd street, I go seven (or eight including South Park) blocks crossing streets with names that are among the most historic in the City. This is the so called SOMA district, as in South Of Market. It's been reinvented several times, from a back water slough to a bustling sailing ship port to major modern port to dilapidated warehouse district to most recently a trendy internet business center with a fancy new old looking baseball field. Since I see them everyday these streets and looking into the names and found some interesting and fun facts. The streets in order, going home, are:

• Townsend
• Brannon
• South Park
• Bryant
• Harrison
• Folsom
• Howard
• Mission
• Market

Seven blocks may not seem like much but these are extra long. In each block are two alleys so the whole distance from Townsend to Market is about one mile according to google maps.

First of all, you need to understand the weird geometry of San Francisco. There is a diagonal slash of Market Street that divides a northern grid of north/south streets with a southern grid that is made of northwest/southeast streets. That's what mathematicians would call a "discontinuity" and drivers just call a mess. The intersections on Market Street provide all kinds of opportunity for different and probably illegal maneuvers. Add in a few one way streets and bike lanes and you better have your wits about you to survive. Notice on the map that further south the orientation goes back to pretty much north/south. It's part of the charm.

As I walk back and forth, I'm collecting some actual facts and some local color to illustrate my pedestrian life. So let's start on Townsend and head north.

Slug a CEO

Today I missed another chance to slug a CEO. Like giving them a major undercut into his/her belly, just to let them know how I felt about their effect on my life.

I met the outgoing CEO of my company in the elevator, going down. I knew who she was but had seen her rarely even though her office was right down the hall. Obviously didn't need to mix with the rabble like us. Raised the health care premiums, didn't live in this state and was an obviously bleached blonde to boot. She didn't acknowledge my presence and who cares, she was being stroked by her "assistant" and laughing about stiffing the restaurant across the street by not showing up for her reservations. Very low class all the way.

The previous opportunity was Jerry Sanders, AMD CEO. After I got fired from there, for basically mouthing off to my lame ass boss, I think I used the term "Has your brain been erased?" When I went back a week later to pick up my final check and make my various savings plan choices, there he was walking in the front lobby at the same time I was. Green leather (green is AMD colors) briefcase in each hand, plodding through. I could have turned and slugged him easily since both arms were weighed down.

Didn't do it. Didn't even say anything. Oh well, some things need to just be left behind as regrets. I have the luxury of this memory for as long as I like. Sweet.

No that's not Colonel Sanders, that's Jerry Sanders, look him up.

Choosy Moms

Choosy Moms chose Jiff. Sounds pretty old fashioned and stupid in this world of tweets and faces doesn't it? But somebody is still paying for that advert and getting their monies worth. That somebody is Pillisbury. Home of the doughboy and everything else. And they are owned by General Mills which I am happy to say are "Nourishing the future". Started in a Minneapolis mill, their empire now includes such favorites as Cheerios and Haagen-Daz.

So why am I bringing this up? I think because the same old pitch still sells. I'm sure all their brands have facebook pages and twitter feeds, but they are still making plenty of money from the good old TV commercial. That choosy mom is pretty hot these days and if that's what it takes, I'll eat some of that oily swill too.

They even have a youtube channel too. Good thing this linux box doesn't have any player for that or who knows what might result.

What a dreary day.

I guess nothing too exciting is going to happen today, the weather is overcast with heavy rain predicted starting in the afternoon. I bought a couple books at a garage sale when I went out to look for the BART train that was reported derailed. I'm not even a lawyer but maybe thought to see some small local disaster.

My thoughts are on the Japanese earthquake/tsunami and the amazing images, particularly of the tongue of debris filled water rolling up the farmland.

I guess the latest bigger disaster always pushes a smaller (or maybe less telegenic) situation off the front page. But I am thinking about the civil war in the Ivory Coast that seems to be starting up. When the one side killed several women by shooting into a demonstration for peace, it's just really disturbing. The cynical side of me writes it off to just another bunch or black poor people dying in a disastrous continent that nobody cares about anyway.

But these are real people and they are really being killed.

My boss at work would never be able to pick out Cote d'Voire on a map or even guess any country on this continent. So many Americans are just so clueless.

Football excitement

I have made a few jokes recently regarding Wayne Rooney, and I now take them all back and apologize profusely and say Wayne, you're a God.

Just now in the Manchester Derby (pronounced Darby) meaning a game between two teams in the same city, in this case Man United vs. Man City. Rooney put in a goal that will be remembered for the ages. A cross from Nani found Rooney near the far post and he, well what can I say?, he just put it in. See image above.

I'm not a huge sports fan, but when I see something like this, I tingle all over. And I wonder why? I am thinking it's because we are reminded on a moment like this that humans can be really amazing, and thrilling and just plain fun. This can happen in a lot of areas, like art and science. But sport is so immediate, meaning right now, in your face and makes me throw up my arms and shout.

Thanks Wayne Rooney. Your life and mine are better for this amazing shot. Whoo Hoo.

Inspired by the clones on my train this afternoon

Apologies to John Lennon where ever he may be.

Imagine there's no iPhone
It's easy if you try
No hell below us
Above us only sky
Imagine all the people
Actually face to face

Imagine there's no Apple
It isn't hard to do
Nothing to spend or charge for
And no religion too
Imagine all the people
Living in the present

You may say that I'm a dreamer
and I might be the only one
I hope someday you'll go away
and the phones will all be gone

Imagine no smart phones
I wonder if you can
But you can't really hear me talking
cause those buds are in your ear
Imagine all the people
talking man to man

You may say that I'm a dreamer
even though I'm the only one
I hope someday you'll wake up
and dump them all down the john.

Filling in the gaps

Just now on the TV news there was an item about the Vatican's new iphone app. It allows users to perform and track their confessions. Guidance is given regarding sin severity and penance and that is now being tracked. This information is then updated to VatGod, the Vatican's world wide Believer Information System (BIS).

This reminds me that I have been remiss in reporting the other side of this massive effort. There is also a Vatican project whose code name I have forgotten but to the insiders is simply known as GodNet. I have been following this for quite a while and have several insiders that feed me updates as important development occur.

So I checked in with one of these fellows, they're all men you know, for any news. The final sticky problem is, and has been for a while, the interface between BIS and GodNet into Him himself. There have been encouraging signs of contact and they are being researched and refined. Thanks to a generous grant from Google, the entire bible in all it's variations is being scoured for relevant knowledge.

The most recent breakthrough is based on data from 1 Kings 7:14. Bronze is prominently mentioned as the work required for King Solomon. Bronze, as we know has a resistivity constant just slightly below that of the copper that has traditionaly been used in electronic circuits. Substituting bronze in place of copper in the God Interface Module (GIM) has greatly increased the signal to noise ratio of the connection. He can be heard quite clearly now.

The final step is to simply hook up the GIM to GodNet and thence to the BIS. This will come soon. We can all look forward, at no extra cost, to the big guy, God, embedded and guiding our iphone use. What a glorious day! Please support this effort by sending $19.95 by simply texting to 78666 with promo code "count me in".

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