What about Obama?

Leading up to the presidential election the Africans I spoke to were uniformly supportive of Obama's candidacy. A black man could be president, what a thought!

There had been a few bumps along Obama's West African road, chief among them was the problem of this fund raising event. The money raised could not be donated to the Obama campaign, by U.S. law, and the organizers have gone missing and the funds are in limbo. There were other pro Obama sentiments in evidence including billboards and newspaper articles. I was surprised how much interest this election in the U.S. had generated.

The locals I talked to were uniformly pleased to see Obama elected, if for no other reason than to have someone in the White House who knew where Africa is located.

There was one notable exception however. Our neighbour's driver declared "He be black man, so he go chop all the money-o". After a bit of thought he considered the fact that Obama is only half black and decided "He no go chop all the money, maybe only small small".

For further inspiration see: I go chop your dollars. BTW, adding "O" to the word at the end of a sentence is a common form of emphasis. Picture from Obama's 2006 visit to Nairobi.

An open letter to the Ants

Dear Ants,

Your recent attack on the plates in the dish drainer has prompted me to send to you this letter. Up until now, I thought we had a good working relationship based on our mutual respect and understanding. Despite centuries of conflict in human/insect relationships, I had hoped that at least for our little corner of the world things might be different.

I had allowed you a trail from under the back door, into the kitchen to the trash basket. (single file only). This trail I had not molested and I viewed it as an accommodation that would avoid open conflict between our respective species. You, the ants, could forage in the waste that I clearly did not treasure and in return you would refrain from further incursions into the kitchen area.

There was the regrettable previous incident involving the bread box that I believe both sides would just as soon forget. The orgy of chemical and physical attacks upon your kind results in a shudder of horror when I recall it, and I can imagine your memories are even more horrifying. Let us leave that episode behind us and move forward towards a living in a peaceful harmony.

I am suggesting that we soften our stances and consider what may be most beneficial in our relationship going forward. I will continue to allow the trail to the trash basket and you will constrain your activities to just that single trail. I am aware that when I take out the trash some few of your population may be displaced to the garbage can at the end of the driveway. I commit to you that I will not harm those travelers except by accident and I think you may be able to arrange for their repatriation, although this may require your negotiation with the ants that live near the front of the house.

So, I leave it up to you, continue to respect the limits that I impose, and I will allow for the above mentioned freedoms. Please don't let our relationship degenerate again into an ugly and shameful conflict.

Regards,
The human at house 23

p.s. I am not liable in any way for ant predation caused by the resident Geckos in the kitchen or any other part of the house.

The calculus of the expressway

Recently we were notified of an increase in okada (motorcycle) robberies along the expressway between our house and the office. They tend to occur between 18:00 and 22:00. That's when the traffic comes to a standstill and the 5 km journey becomes an hour or more. An okada zooms up alongside a likely looking car, like one of our company cars that have a distinctive reflective strip added to the back bumper. A window is smashed and valuables demanded. Oftentimes there will be two or more okadas working together.

Once the loot is grabbed, the okada(s) can zip away between the stopped cars and easily get away. I'm told this activity increases around christmas time. How's that for christmas spirit?

Sitting by the pool last weekend, the old hands were advising the fresh fish on how to handle this problem. First of all, you must carry some cash or valuables as having nothing to hand over can result in getting dragged out of the car and beaten. Ideally, one should wear a watch, expecially if it looks expensive. A $20 Rolex will work great. And have some handing over cash readily available and the rest of your money hidden somewhere else. N3, 000 was suggested as being a good balance between not losing too much yet still satisfying the robbers.

You are safer if the police don't show up. If they are nearby by some random chance, they will likely run away so it's usually not a problem. If some hero policeman tries to intervene, get out of there if at all possible as there exists a real chance that shooting will break out in the wildest and least effective manner endangering everyone except the robbers. The only recent case of the police actually being effective was an incident on the Falomo bridge where the frightened robbers jumped into the creek and drowned.

If your Rolex gets taken, next time you are stuck in traffic buy a new one from the peddlers working between the lanes. Maybe you will even get your old watch back. Still a bargain even if you have to buy it twice.

Ibadan and traffic

Yesterday on our return trip, there was a "go slow" on the expressway south from Ibadan to Lagos. Normal for Sunday afternoon when the mega churches along this stretch of road let out. But it was too early for that, not even one in the afternoon. Those preachers go at least until 2 pm or even later if they're really geared up.

We had been sailing along on the double carriageway at about 60 kph, two lanes in each direction, the road good and traffic light. This direction the tanker trucks are empty and can move right along too. Then we all came to a halt.

Immediately, the right shoulder became another lane. Even though dirt, with huge dips and puddles, vehicles moved over. I noticed that the transport mini buses were a large proportion of them and began to wonder if there was some local knowledge at play. The left shoulder became a traffic lane the opposite direction, as vehicles turned around to go back to where there was a place to get across the dividing wall and get on the other side of the carriageway. Sure enough, in a short time there was a steady flow going against the traffic on that side, and they were moving well.

We were not willing to take either option, so stuck it out in the lane we were in. Although we did have to deal with a steady flow of vehicles trying to merge from the right shoulder back onto the pavement, especially when a large pothole loomed. Since there is no such thing as politely letting someone into your lane, especially when they have gained an advantage by moving over and now want back in, we had an ongoing match of chicken with the merging vehicles.

I could see that this wasn't a predicable go slow by the lack of vendors between the lanes. There were just a few. In the places where jams are regular, the vendors are too. Here their lack signaled something out of the ordinary. Hopefully an accident of some sort that will have clear traffic once we get past. That thought offered some hope of not having to creep several hours into Lagos.

It was an accident. There was a large truck overturned blocking all but one lane of the road. Everyone had to merge into the lane we were in, so it was pretty slow and nerve racking, but at least we could see some hope. The cab of the trunk had apparently gone off onto the left shoulder which was soft, so the cab flipped and took the trailer with it. Guiness bottles, cartons of them were strewn about. They appeared to be empties, headed back to the brewery.

We had seen one flipped over truck going north, that one loaded with floor tiles and computers and now one going back south. Once we had cleared the beer truck, we were sailing along again and made it to Ikoyi by about 2:30 pm. Good time for leaving Ibadan at around 11:00 am.

It had been a pleasant weekend at the IITA.

BTW traffic jams caused by mega churches are a world wide phenomenon. WWJP? (where would Jesus park?)

California

Looking back at three weeks in the golden state I am struck by a few things. So in no particular order...

The weather was great! Please be sure to appreciate it. The October cool evenings and warm afternoons are just heaven. Every morning I woke up with delight.

No wonder Americans don't like soccer (football, futbol). The MLS is lousy. The players can't control the ball, they can't organize an attack and the announcers are just plain annoying. Give me Liverpool's grace or a Brazilian team caressing the ball any time.

The ACE hardware at 51st and MLK in Oakland that is just what a hardware store should be. All behind the counter, just walk in and get helped, none of this Homeless Depot stuff. After Dutch Boy closed on Telegraph Ave I thought these places were all gone. You go dudes!

TV. Orange county choppers selling on QVC? Mikey as role model? WTF?

How about a TV show that's just a show and not an over dramatized epic? When I was in kindergarten our house got moved a few blocks. It didn't need Discovery channel camera crews and "if it slips now it's over!" fake drama. The company got the job done with an easy skill and confidence, that's a real story.

And speaking of TV, how about cutting out the fake science. Like the show (another Discovery production) that moves from black holes, yielding white holes, leading to matter creation at the mid Atlantic ridge that explains the Bermuda triangle. Huh?

And speaking of climate change, we've proved a variant of Newton's third law: For every scientist there is an equal and opposite scientist.

Rain starting to pour again. Humidity 100%. Miss that California weather.

The hyacinth are in

And other musings on my return to West Africa.

Got back yesterday morning. Delta flight 50 was uneventful, but arriving on Sunday was a very good thing. Not much traffic, I wonder if it's just me, but my fascination with the ongoing spectacle along the roads was not near as fascinating as usual. It helps to be moving.

Seems this time of year, the water hyacinth bloom and take over large parts of the lagoon. This picture is from our balcony. Yesterday this was all green, then last night we had big rain and wind and a lot blew away to somewhere. I wonder where? The purple blooms are quite nice, but not if you are paddling a canoe or landing a float plane.

This morning when I went out on my bike, the mood was unusually calm. I wonder where everyone is? Maybe the rain last night canceled most construction projects for this morning. Very few people along the roads, most chop bars seemed closed.

More rain coming though. The dark clouds against the brown sky look especially ominous.

Violating rule number 2, waiting for a driver to come and take the car to the travel agent to pay for Christmas time travel tickets. Rose just called to say "They are sorting out the public transit".

Cook is downstairs, humming tunelessly as she chops. Sounds like home.

Financial Crisis Jokes and thoughts

What's the difference between Venzuela and the U.S.?

Venzuela only takes over successful companies!

Ta boom!

Shouldn't we have know that it was all over when E*Trade was sponsoring poker tournaments on TV?

How about exporting college football? Saturday TV is full of it. If we could sell it to the rest of the world, then it could be replaced by more cooking shows. And we rake in the dough and save the economy.

Oh, never mind, sell them the cooking shows too. Since the viewers can't taste or smell the results, they could be doing anything. The host can only go "Hmmm", I'm not convinced, he's an actor you know.

But, best of all. Export all the commercials. Since that's the only thing the U.S. actually produces anymore, then we need to get value for it. I'm sure there's a peasant somewhere that needs to be convinced that "you meet the nicest people on a Honda", or that a swiffer is better than a mop or that paint without VOC (whatever that is) will make your family love you.

Come on America! Instead of a WPA, let's do a WAA. (World Advertising Administration). Go with our stength!