An open letter to the Ants

Dear Ants,

Your recent attack on the plates in the dish drainer has prompted me to send to you this letter. Up until now, I thought we had a good working relationship based on our mutual respect and understanding. Despite centuries of conflict in human/insect relationships, I had hoped that at least for our little corner of the world things might be different.

I had allowed you a trail from under the back door, into the kitchen to the trash basket. (single file only). This trail I had not molested and I viewed it as an accommodation that would avoid open conflict between our respective species. You, the ants, could forage in the waste that I clearly did not treasure and in return you would refrain from further incursions into the kitchen area.

There was the regrettable previous incident involving the bread box that I believe both sides would just as soon forget. The orgy of chemical and physical attacks upon your kind results in a shudder of horror when I recall it, and I can imagine your memories are even more horrifying. Let us leave that episode behind us and move forward towards a living in a peaceful harmony.

I am suggesting that we soften our stances and consider what may be most beneficial in our relationship going forward. I will continue to allow the trail to the trash basket and you will constrain your activities to just that single trail. I am aware that when I take out the trash some few of your population may be displaced to the garbage can at the end of the driveway. I commit to you that I will not harm those travelers except by accident and I think you may be able to arrange for their repatriation, although this may require your negotiation with the ants that live near the front of the house.

So, I leave it up to you, continue to respect the limits that I impose, and I will allow for the above mentioned freedoms. Please don't let our relationship degenerate again into an ugly and shameful conflict.

Regards,
The human at house 23

p.s. I am not liable in any way for ant predation caused by the resident Geckos in the kitchen or any other part of the house.