Football excitement

I have made a few jokes recently regarding Wayne Rooney, and I now take them all back and apologize profusely and say Wayne, you're a God.

Just now in the Manchester Derby (pronounced Darby) meaning a game between two teams in the same city, in this case Man United vs. Man City. Rooney put in a goal that will be remembered for the ages. A cross from Nani found Rooney near the far post and he, well what can I say?, he just put it in. See image above.

I'm not a huge sports fan, but when I see something like this, I tingle all over. And I wonder why? I am thinking it's because we are reminded on a moment like this that humans can be really amazing, and thrilling and just plain fun. This can happen in a lot of areas, like art and science. But sport is so immediate, meaning right now, in your face and makes me throw up my arms and shout.

Thanks Wayne Rooney. Your life and mine are better for this amazing shot. Whoo Hoo.

Inspired by the clones on my train this afternoon

Apologies to John Lennon where ever he may be.

Imagine there's no iPhone
It's easy if you try
No hell below us
Above us only sky
Imagine all the people
Actually face to face

Imagine there's no Apple
It isn't hard to do
Nothing to spend or charge for
And no religion too
Imagine all the people
Living in the present

You may say that I'm a dreamer
and I might be the only one
I hope someday you'll go away
and the phones will all be gone

Imagine no smart phones
I wonder if you can
But you can't really hear me talking
cause those buds are in your ear
Imagine all the people
talking man to man

You may say that I'm a dreamer
even though I'm the only one
I hope someday you'll wake up
and dump them all down the john.

Filling in the gaps

Just now on the TV news there was an item about the Vatican's new iphone app. It allows users to perform and track their confessions. Guidance is given regarding sin severity and penance and that is now being tracked. This information is then updated to VatGod, the Vatican's world wide Believer Information System (BIS).

This reminds me that I have been remiss in reporting the other side of this massive effort. There is also a Vatican project whose code name I have forgotten but to the insiders is simply known as GodNet. I have been following this for quite a while and have several insiders that feed me updates as important development occur.

So I checked in with one of these fellows, they're all men you know, for any news. The final sticky problem is, and has been for a while, the interface between BIS and GodNet into Him himself. There have been encouraging signs of contact and they are being researched and refined. Thanks to a generous grant from Google, the entire bible in all it's variations is being scoured for relevant knowledge.

The most recent breakthrough is based on data from 1 Kings 7:14. Bronze is prominently mentioned as the work required for King Solomon. Bronze, as we know has a resistivity constant just slightly below that of the copper that has traditionaly been used in electronic circuits. Substituting bronze in place of copper in the God Interface Module (GIM) has greatly increased the signal to noise ratio of the connection. He can be heard quite clearly now.

The final step is to simply hook up the GIM to GodNet and thence to the BIS. This will come soon. We can all look forward, at no extra cost, to the big guy, God, embedded and guiding our iphone use. What a glorious day! Please support this effort by sending $19.95 by simply texting to 78666 with promo code "count me in".

copyrights owned by their owners, all others are not. the bible is all truthful and don't you forget it. 2000 BC - 2000 AD all rights protected.

Dictators

The TV is full of images from street demonstrations in Tunisia, Egypt and now Yemen. All are calling for the removal of the current dictator. These guys have all been around for 20 or 30 years. I've posted about this before, but to remind you... Dictators are not individuals, they have built their power by creating a structure around them of people that are benefiting and controlling people around them. It's a classic pyramid structure. Think multi level marketing.

That's what makes it hard for Americans to understand why they don't get over thrown sooner. Would you kick out your boss if he was providing a lucrative payroll by controlling you and allowing you to control the next level down? Probably not, and that's why it's only the people at the very lowest level that will protest. Everyone else is in on the game. And when the lowest level becomes big enough, meaning that all the middle/upper level positions are full, and nothing is left, then "Viva la revolution!".

Of course it's hard for the American President to stop supporting Mubarak after his sucking down billions of aid dollars but it will have to happen. Good lesson to Obama, how to cut loose a loser. That will be hard on such a pretend moral high grounder. But good for his training.

I was looking for the next group of 20+ year dictators and I'll see what I can find. I suppose those CIA guys have beat me to it, but they are not sharing the data.

Looting the world

Last year's totals are in: 333 rhinos killed by poachers in South Africa. All for the horns to be sold to the "Asian" market.

Am I the only one who has noticed that "Asian" in this context is just a code word for Chinese? Like we are trying to not hurt their feelings? Let me tell you, this primitive civilization that claims to be so advanced has never gotten past the most simple beliefs of the proto humans. If the horn is so strong and comes from a huge beast, then it will give me strength for my "horn" if consumed. This is nothing more advanced than the most simplistic magical belief that an animal or plant with a desirable characteristic can give it to me if eaten.

This has got to stop. These "Asians" are destroying the world to satisfy their superstitions. These poachers are using helicopters and night vision equipment to swoop down and grab the horns before any local police can respond. They leave behind a bloody carcass, minus the magical horn. And make plenty of money doing it.

President Obama met today with the Chinese president but I doubt this topic was discussed. There are more immediate economic issues on the table. Like the huge U.S. trade deficit fueled by we'all buying plastic crap from the Asians.

May I suggest that we should refrain from making that trip to Walmart to save a couple bucks and speak out against the rape of the world's wildlife? Please, let's keep some of these magnificent beasts around and not in some quack doctor's display case.

Why the internet wins

I have been meaning for a long time to get a new blade assembly for our blender. It's been doing it's job recently by standing majestically on the counter in glossy black, matching the other appliances, But it hasn't actually worked for quite a while because the blade thingy just spins around and around inside and doesn't cut anything.

With the holidays and stuff, I have some time so I thought to buy new blades. Now, I'm an old school guy so I went to the appliance place on Folsom street where I'd had good service some time before and the guy at the counter (Jim) after telling me how Kitchenaid had stopped making these more than 10 years ago and they can't get them and the last time they checked in November there were none and he would check again and maybe I could call back tomorrow. And they were $14.95 in the price book, and he wrote down the part number for me.

So I called back and yes they had checked, well they had sent them an email but they didn't hear back so I suggested that I will call back next week.

Later that day, I cut out early from work, so I was in time to go to my local parts place. Upon asking for a blender part, she got into her files and gave me a mapquest printout of the directions to another local place. Internet scores 1.

At this place, the counter guy started out with attitude when I mentioned that I thought the original part was not very robust.

"You've had this thing for at least 10 years which is when they last made this style so it can't be that bad now can it?"

I didn't mention how it had been hardly used.

He fiddled with his computer for a while and then dashed off into the back. Is there some secret place in all these parts places where the stuff I want is actually stored and not logged in the computer? Seems like. He returned a few minutes later with the part and declared it would be $28.

That was double the price of the Folsom street store but he did actually have it so I pulled out my credit card. "Sorry no credit card for less that $50".

I tried to turn it back on him that since Kitchenaid hadn't made these for ten years and he was unlikely to get another customer who would want them and he would have those blades sitting in the secret place forever and make no money and that he should make an exception and let me use my card for his price that was already twice what the other place had quoted. No deal.

When I got home, I searched the internet for the part using the number the Folsom street guy had given me, found it on Amazon and bought it, all in a couple minutes. (see picture above). Internet 2.

With the shipping, the internet part costs $20. If it is the right part, then I guess it's a win, if not then there will be some return hassle.

I wonder. If I'm at the counter and the guy is using his computer to search for a part, or I'm at home using my computer to search for a part then what's the difference? If the counter guy really knows something about the part and has one in stock then that's good. If he doesn't have it but did get me the part number then am I ripping him off by buying it somewhere else?

So many of the really helpful stores, the ones that have a counter, have already gone out of business that I am tempted to patronize them just to keep them around for that occasion when I really will need help. But if I can buy it online with a small risk of getting the wrong thing and the convenience of home shopping and delivery then I guess I will. Somehow though it makes the world seem a little smaller or colder, or less friendly in some way.

It's in the mail

So let me get this straight. Two UPS packages mailed in Yemen, addressed to synagogues in Chicago were found to contain bombs. I can just see the scene at the UPS counter in Yemen.

"Yes, sure, we've got some good friends in Chicago, and here's a couple treats for them. Hehe"
"They sure love our delicious surprises. Hehe"

And no one thought this was suspicious?

How about this for a plan? No more packages allowed from Yemen to the U.S. Why do we bother trying to be fair to people? Let's keep it simple, your countryman sent us a bomb, so you may not send us anything ever again. And by the way, don't be applying for any visas either. There will be no American visa issued to anyone from Yemen ever again.

I don't think we'll be missing out on much.