Secrets

There seem to be a lot of people who think that the world around them is full of people who know stuff that they don't. If they could only find out those things, then life would be a breeze. That stuff they don't know is called "secrets". I have reached this conclusion based on number of internet sites that purport to let you in on the secrets that only they know, but now you, the average schlub, can know too. Once you know the secret you will be rich, beautiful, smart, sexy, and happy. Check out some of my favorites.

The greatest number of secrets involve diet. Rather than admit that the way to lose weight is to eat less, we spend an amazing amount of time looking (and paying) for secrets.

• just plain diet secrets
• foreign diet secrets
• celebrity diet secrets
• diet secrets they don't want you to know

Of course there must be secrets to making money since the people who have a lot of it don't seem to have to work for it like we do so there must be a secret. One secret to making money is of course to make money selling the secret.

• secrets seem to be best if there is a small number of them, like 10
• or they are being hidden from you
• a good secret involves little effort
• and is completely free

We all feel that we're getting ripped off when buying cars, so there must be secrets we don't know. The same goes for other purchases too.

• car buying secrets, the best are closely held
• home buying secrets, exposed
• airplane buying secrets
• carpet buying secrets
• camera buying secrets
• travel secrets
  

The list goes on... We love health secrets, especially if it's a drinking is good for us kind of secret.

• secrets of red wine
• health secrets for busy people
• the world's greatest health secrets
• of course celebrities have health secrets

Around the house, you may need some of these

• plumbing secrets
• cooking secrets
• parenting secrets
• the secrets of pro painters
• cleaning secrets

Well, you get the idea. I'll leave you with police secrets, sex secrets, medical secrets, government secrets, alien secrets, secrets of the ancients and the mind boggling colon secrets. Too bad people looking for secrets don't spend their time more productively, like learning about what's really going on instead of chasing bullshit. Maybe they just need the secret of life.